A Eventful day in the life of the gundam pilots
by Y do u mock me so
Summary: It is a story which insults Treize, Wufeii, Dorothy, Trowa and Heero. Review it if you dare!


A Eventful Day in the Lives of the Gundam Piolots  
  
Hour 1 &2 - 9.00am to 11am  
It was a Saturday morning in the middle of June. The Sank Kingdom was as peaceful (well duh, it's supposed to be peaceful considering their leader is Relena Peacecraft!) Anyway back to the story. Trowa and Quatre were in the middle of a conversation about toilet paper...  
  
Quatre: I like double velvet toilet as its so smooth when you wipe it across your butt.  
  
Trowa:  
  
Quatre: Trowa, dove isn't a make of toilet paper! Its a make of soap.  
  
Trowa: Really?  
  
Quatre: Yes.  
  
Trowa: I'll stop using that then.  
  
Quatre: Yeah I think that you should.  
  
Trowa: What about the extra sink in the bathroom. It's got a weird name I can't actually remember its name. Do you know?  
  
Quatre: Do you mean a bidet?  
  
Trowa: Yes that's the name of it.  
  
Quatre: You actually have to wash your bum in it.  
  
Trowa: * Blushing *Oh dear.  
  
Duo burst in with a dozen cans of beer.  
  
Duo: Morning all! I've just been shopping.  
  
Quatre: Did you use a list?  
  
Duo: List! I need no list, thank you very much! I just need my memory and maybe my Death Scythe.  
  
Quatre: Why did you use that for.  
  
Duo: Well I didn't have any money...and it was in an area which Romerfellar control! The people at the checkout didn't let me leave until either put my beer back or paid for it. So I legged to the door and ran into Death Scythe...'course they were chasing me, but since I'm fast they couldn't catch me....and I told them they had the worst customer service that I've ever seen!  
  
Quatre: Did you do anything else?  
  
Duo: Then I blew the supermarket up.  
  
Quatre: Sorry I didn't quite catch any of that.  
  
Duo: I'm not going to repeat myself. You should have heard me the last time.  
  
Trieze: Your violence is pointless. You should turn to the ways of the Peacecrafts.  
  
Duo: Aren't you supposed to be dead?  
  
Treize then grabs his heart as if only realizing that he was supposed to be dead and stumbled around before finally falling down.  
  
Treize: Quatre...askkkk....Lady Une....why....does....she....wear....glasses....with.....her.. ..army...uniform.....and....not...her...casual...clothes.  
  
Quatre: Is there anything else that you would like me to tell her?  
  
Treize didn't reply. He was dead!  
  
Duo: Where did he come from? Trowa, you're not letting people that you don't know into Relena's Mansion again, are you?  
  
Trowa who was now scarlet nodded. Heero entered the lounge he glanced around at every one but his eyes rested on the beer that Duo was holding.  
  
Heero: Gimme a can of that beer, Duo.  
  
Duo: Not unless you say the magic word!  
  
Heero: Gimme a can of that beer or I'll kill you!! *Heero pulls a revolver from his pants.*  
  
Duo: Er, what else do you keep in there?  
  
Heero glared at him.  
  
Duo: You are not allowed to give the look of death to the god of death.  
  
Quatre: *laughing* More like the god of beer.  
  
Wufei: Would you lot shut up? I can't even hear myself think.  
  
Duo: Really? I didn't know that you could think.  
  
Wufei: You only say that because you are weak. I'm going to fix Nataku 'cause I'm sick of the lot of you. *Wufei walks outside*  
  
Quatre: Wufei I wouldn't advise that considering that you are still wearing your nightie.  
  
Wufei blushes, he turns round and rushes to his room. He bumps into Relena as she was entering the room.  
  
Relena: Clumsy bastard  
  
Heero: Relena, language, Trowas in the room!  
  
Trowa:  
  
Quatre: *laughs* Good one Trowa.  
  
Heero, Duo and Relena all look puzzled at Quatre.  
  
Quatre: Tell them what you said.  
  
Trowa:  
  
Quatre starts laughing again.  
  
Duo: I don't get it!  
  
Wufei re-enters the room, fully dressed this time. He doesn't stay long he walks past them all and storms off to his Gundam suit.  
  
Relena: Whats wrong with him?  
  
Trowa: His personality.  
  
Relena only realizing that Treize was lying in the middle of the floor. Went out and came back in again carrying a large broom and swept Treize under the rug.  
  
Dorothy stormed into the room and slammed the door open.  
  
Dorothy: Where is Mister Treize?  
  
Quatre: Has anyone told you that you have weird eyebrows?  
  
Dorothy:I don't care about my eyebrows...  
  
Duo: You know you could shave the top ones off.  
  
Heero: Yeah I know what you mean. You really do look like Treize. Are you anyway related to him?  
  
Trowa: If you are then I'd say your a guest who's invited to his funeral.  
  
Dorothy:I DON'T CARE ABOUT MY EYEBROWS ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS WHERE TREIZE IS!!!!!!  
  
Heero: Probably pushing up daisies.  
  
Dorothy: WHAT DID YOU SAY? Treize does not wear daisy chains that is something a child wears.  
  
Wufei walks in. He sits on the floor (where Treize is) and starts to meditate.  
  
Duo: Wufei, what are you doing?  
  
Wufei: Be quiet, Maxwell, I'm trying to find my inner peace.  
  
Duo: Sorry to interrupt you, your Woof-Woofness.  
  
Dorothy:Where's Treize?  
  
Relena:We don't know ask Milliado.  
  
Dorothy:Fine*walks up to Heero then kicks him in the balls* That's for being rude to me.  
  
Dorothy ran out leaving Heero rolling on the floor with pain.  
  
Quatre: I don't like Dorothy.  
  
Heero: Same *cough* here *splutter*  
  
Duo:Why?  
  
Quatre: Because she mumbles on about nothing.  
  
Duo: Just like Treize then.  
  
The carpet under Wufei starts to move.  
  
Treize: *Muffled* I demand a proper burial.  
  
Wufei: Hey, dead people aren't supposed to speak or move!  
  
Treize: Sorry, I forgot.  
  
Duo takes a beer from his collection. He pulls the can open and starts to drink.  
  
Heero: It's not good to drink in the morning.  
  
Duo: But you do it as well!  
  
Heero: No I don't!  
  
Duo: Well at least I don't carry guns around with me and keep them in weird places!  
  
Heero: YOU WANT A FIGHT MAXWELL!!!!!  
  
Duo: YEAH!! BRING IT ON YUY.  
  
Heero pulls his gun out of his pants. Duo picks up his gun which was lying on the couch. Hildie comes back inside after her morning jog.  
  
Quatre: *In slow motion* Heero ,Duo. NOOOOOOO!  
  
Relena gets in the way of the gun so Heero can't shoot if he doesn't want to kill her. Hildie did the same thing to Duo.  
  
Hildie: DUO WHAT ARE YOU DOING! You know perfectly well that if you battle Heero that you'll end up like Treize...  
  
Treize: That's my name don't wear it out.  
  
Wufei: What did I tell you!  
  
Treize: Sorry Wufei, I didn't think clearly.  
  
Wufei: Talk to the hand 'cause the face ain't listening.  
  
Treize: Idiot.  
  
Wufei: Shut up or I'll kill you again.  
  
Treize: * sarcastically * Oh that's so delightful! You never say anything that's nasty. If I remember correctly you cried when I died. Well let me tell you that you are the weak one! Not anyone else!  
  
Wufei: How can you still speak, Corpse. Are you a zombie?  
  
Treize: Yes I am.  
  
Treize's arms rip the carpet, his arms rap around Wufei's neck. His head appears out of the carpet he presses his mouth onto the top of Wufei's head and tries to suck the blood out of his head. Wufei punches him in is eye, Treize's eye falls out of its socket and rolls along the floor. Treize lets go to pick up his eye. Wufei sees his opportunity and runs to the opposite corner of the room. Heero and Duo point their guns at Treize's head, Treize stays still.  
  
Treize: Now don't do any thing that you'll regret.  
  
Heero: I won't regret this!  
  
Heero pulls the trigger on his gun. Treize's head explodes when the bullet hits.  
  
Duo: I think that something i s wrong with Wufei.  
  
Wufei: I WANTED TO KILL HIM!  
  
Heero: DON'T BE SO GREEDY YOU'VE ALREADY KILLED HIM ONCE!  
  
Duo: I believe it's my turn next time.  
  
Hildie: What are you talking about? Treize is dead!  
  
Duo: Take another look at Treize.  
  
Treize's head was rebuilding itself and as quickly as it has splattered it was mended.  
  
Treize: Thanks a lot.  
  
Duo: Your welcome *He said as he was picking up Treize*  
  
Quatre: There is a cliff outside.  
  
Duo: Good idea!  
  
Duo walks outside to the edge of the cliff. He then chucks him off.  
  
Treize: NOT AGAINNNNNNNNN.............  
  
SPLAT! Treize fell on top of Dorothy. Since Dorothy could rebuild herself she started to rebuild her body (Obviously). Treize did as well. To bad that their bodies combined.  
  
Treize: Oh, you silly girl now look what you've done!  
  
Dorothy: I don't have time for this I have to see Milliado. *Dorothy pulls one way*  
  
Treize:I have to get to the Romerfeller foundation! *He pulls the other way*  
  
Quatre: If he comes back up it's my turn to kill him!  
  
Wufei: *crying and stamping his feet like a spoilt child * I'm supposed to be the one who kills Treize.  
  
Heero:Be quiet you blubbering baby.  
  
Wufei: * still crying *I'll be in Nataku if anyone needs me.  
  
Duo: He hasn't been the same since he realized that he and everyone else, is weak.  
  
Heero: He should be on the weakest link!  
  
Duo: Thats a really bad joke! It really does show that you haven't had much practice at making jokes.  
  
Heero: *Sarcastically* Oh yes, I forgot. I should have remembered that you're the thick clown around here! Well I suggest that you get on with it! You don't need practice, Duo, It just comes naturally to you. I think that you should switch jobs with Trowa!  
  
Trowa: !  
  
Duo: Leave Trowa out of this. You know that he can't stand up for himself.  
  
Trowa: !!  
  
Heero: No he can! Quatre can interpret what he says for us!  
  
Trowa: !!!  
  
Heero: I'm going to speak slowly from now on so Trowa can understand me.  
  
Trowa: !!!!  
  
Duo: Don't worry Trowa, Heero is just being a jerk.  
  
Trowa: *Nods*  
  
Heero: Trowa are you dumb, try using sign language so we can understand you.  
  
Trowa: !!!!!  
  
Trowa who can't stand anymore of Heero's insults goes up to Heero, grabs his head and slams it against the wall. While Trowa is doing this Heero is reaching for his gun. Trowa notices this and when he hit Heero against the wall, he legs it to his Gundam (Heavy Arms).  
  
Heero: Come back you son of a bitch.  
  
Duo: I know why don't we all go out for a drink.  
  
Heero: As long as Trowa isn't coming!  
  
Quatre: HERRO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! TROWA WON'T SPEAK FOR ANOTHER MONTH NOW!!!!!! YOU KNOW HOW SENSITIVE HE IS!!!  
  
Heero: Like I give a fuck...  
  
Duo: So how about that drink?  
  
Heero: Alright...but you're paying!  
  
The group then leaves the house, apart from Trowa who is busy pondering about what to do next in Heavy Arms. 


End file.
